You love the idea of a vintage wedding, but it’s so overdone.  Practically every bridal magazine has sections on how to plan the perfect Gatsby wedding or Mad Men style reception.  How’s a vintage lover supposed to stay original?  

We’ve compiled a list of Vintage Themes that, when really committed to, are sure to be remembered for decades to come.

1. Pride and Prejudice Wedding

Don’t you just love the world of Jane Austen?  The dancing! The dresses! The romance! Show the world that your love is just as passionate as the Darcys’, by throwing an early nineteenth century-era English country wedding.

 

Image Source: Perioddramas.com

Tips: To maintain the correct level of authenticity, ask your guests to refrain from bathing for at least one week before the ceremony.  Find someone to bake you a Wedding Pie (meat pie with a ring baked into it; whoever gets the ring gets married next). And finally, have your guests memorize several era appropriate line dances.  They’ll have a blast! 

2. Elizabethan Wedding

Can you imagine how gorgeous you would look in an Elizabethan ruff?  It would be so magical to dance by candlelight and listen to friends recite Shakespeare’s sonnets! 

 

Image Source: Ranylt.wordpress.com

Tips: When they arrive at the church, have your guests arrange themselves in order of economic standing (poorest people in the back). Make sure the bride’s father gives away a portion of his land to the groom. And if the marriage doesn’t work, just have your spouse beheaded.  Oh, and don’t bathe or brush your teeth! 

3. Medieval Wedding

Make your wedding the stuff of legend: Arthurian legends!  Channel Guinevere in a green dress with long, flowing sleeves.  Listen to lute players and feast on giant turkey legs.

 

Image Source: Pixgood.com

Tips: Don’t bathe.  Get plague.  

4. Roman Empire Wedding

Give a toga party a sophisticated update with your Roman Empire Wedding.  Feed your partner grapes as the Gods bless your union.

 

Image Source: Fashion.famousfix.com 

Tips:  Install a vomitorium.  (Trust us on that one.)  Don’t consider the reception a success unless in ends in an orgy.  And feel free to bring your bridal party to the bathhouse before the ceremony.  

5. Paleolithic Wedding

It’s already a fad diet, so why not use the Paleo thing to inspire your wedding?  This theme is all about simplicity… and killing your dinner. 

Image Source: Wickedwritingskills.com

Tips: Have the ceremony in a cave covered in crude drawings.  If you think the cave might get a little cold, you can build a fire—but not if the theme is early Paleolithic!  Make sure your outfit is hunter-gatherer chic and cover yourself in stone tools and weaponry!

Congratulations on your super-chic vintage wedding! May you enjoy a beautiful marriage, and both live to be at least 55!