So you need to tell your family about your recent elopement.  Well, at least you have good timing! Here’s how to use this season of forced goodwill and cheer to finally break the news.

1. Knit yourself some matching ugly sweaters that say “Just Married” on the back.

 

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“Cute sweaters kids! Is there anything on the back?”

2. Upstage your nephew at his holiday pageant by dragging your partner onstage to create your own Love Actually moment.

 

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What? It’s not like we haven’t seen this play before.

3. Drink too much eggnog at the in-law’s Christmas party.  The rest will take care of itself. 

 

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One rash decision deserves another…

4. Write on your Christmas cards: “Happy Holidays! P.S. We TOTALLY eloped! Xoxo!!!” Why waste extra postage? 

 

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Anyway, how’s your family?

5. Frame your marriage certificate and wrap it up like a present.  Give it to your parents to unwrap on Christmas Morning. 

 

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Poor Mom. She has no idea.

6. Volunteer to do a reading at your church’s Christmas service.  Drop the Truth Bomb on the whole congregation. By the time you’re all filing out to the parking lot, everyone will have gotten used to the idea. 

 

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I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways.

7. When your family wants to know what you’d like for Christmas, tell them everything is already on the registry. 

 

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Everything except unconditional acceptance. Still need that one.

8. On Christmas morning, lounge around in matching “Mr. & Mrs.” bathrobes and wait for someone to notice. 

 

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“No, we actually had these made…”

9. On family movie night, only suggest Hallmark Channel and/or Lifetime holiday wedding movies. (There are several that are all titled A Christmas Wedding.  You’re all set.)

 

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“Well if Sarah Paulson did it…”

10. Skip Christmas and send everyone a postcard from your Hawaiian honeymoon.

 

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“Suckers!”

Some of these might work better than others, but if there’s one thing we can all be grateful for this holiday, it’s that nobody is allowed to get too mad. Just don’t count on your parents contributing to the honeymoon fund.