SPOILER ALERT!

Gone Girl is one of the most buzzworthy films of the year. But as much as we love the characters, we are terrified that one day we will find ourselves in their position.

Here are a few foolproof ways to make sure your marriage doesn’t sink to the depths of Nick and Amy’s. 

Tip #1: If your spouse seems too good to be true, they probably are.

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

Tip #2: If your spouse thinks creepy Punch and Judy dolls are a suitable anniversary gift--like Amy did, it might be time to consider the direction your marriage is heading.

 

Image Source: cdn.filmschoolrejects.com

Tip #3: Check your spouse’s diary every once in a while. Sure, it’s a violation of privacy, but you might find out that she’s plotting to frame you for murder. Who cares about privacy now?!

 

Image Source: The Wrap 

Tip #4: If your spouse says things like this on date night, you might want to reassess the relationship.

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

Tip #5: If you suspect your spouse may be a robot, don’t take any chances. Get out while you can.

 

Image Source: personalitycafe.com

Tip #6: If the soundtrack to your significant other’s life could be a Taylor Swift song, run for the hills.

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

Tip #7: If your spouse goes by a nickname like “Amazing Amy,” dump ‘em. Chances are the only thing they’re amazing at is being a murderous psychopath. 

 

Image Source: Amazon 

Besides, there’s only one Amazing Amy…

Image Source: photobucket.com

Tip #8: If your spouse happens to fake their death and try to pin their murder on you, don’t pull a Ben Affleck and stay with them after that information is finally revealed to you. It’s not going to end well.

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

Tip #9: Don’t make Gone Girl your date night movie… even if it’s the only DVD left in the Redbox.

 

Image Source: thetwist03.files.wordpress.com

Image Source: cdn.meme.am

Now that you’re fully prepared to recognize a psychopath when you’re married to one, enjoy a life of blood-free bliss!