Trust us, marriage is already hard enough. If you want to start off on a  good note don't include these statements in your wedding vows.

1. “I remember when we first met. You looked so beautiful passed out on our friend’s lawn.”

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2. “Til our differences become irreconcilable do we part.”

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3. “I’d like to read from the Book of Revelations…”

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4. “I’m so happy my parents could make it even though I intentionally misdirected them.”

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5. “Our love is stronger than any legal statute.”

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6. “Some people think marriage requires no effort, me included.”

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7. “I am honored to stand here today before my God, my family, and my fellow inmates.”

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8. “…and even though you weren’t my first choice…”

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9. “And now for the ceremonially breaking of my father in law’s nose.”

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10. “I would literally kill for you…you don’t even have to ask…I can read your thoughts…”

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