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put a zing on it

What Your “First Dance” Wedding Song REALLY Says About You…

There’s a long-standing joke that people in the know (Wedding Planners, Wedding Singers, etc.) can determine how long a couple will stay together based on the song they choose for their first dance. (Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries picked Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together.” Is there ANY better example?)

We’ve compiled a list of ten favorite “first dance” songs and what each selection REALLY says about the bride and groom to be.

1. Song: “At Last” by Etta James

What it says about you:

Your groom wouldn’t go to those couple’s dance classes, so you picked a song you could just awkwardly sway to.

2. Song: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

What it says about you: You think Zooey Deschanel is just darling. You subvert tradition by wearing red pumps underneath your mom’s wedding dress and you love to play classic songs on your fucking ukulele. You almost used this song for the father/daughter dance too. Weird.

3. Song: “White Wedding” by Billy Idol

What it says about you: You’re one of those people who just don’t get sarcasm.

4. Song: “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

What it says about you: You’re trying to convince everyone that being called a “diva” is a positive thing. A “Bridezilla” is something you actually aspire to be. You don’t listen to lyrics and your fiancé is too scared to point out to you that this song is actually about a break-up.

5. Song: “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot

What it says about you: You were hoping your wedding party would do a flash mob of “Gagnam Style” during the ceremony. You were disappointed. You and your fiancé rehearsed choreography in the hopes that one of your friends would YouTube this shit. No one did.

6. Song: “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen

What it says about you: Somebody in this couple is hiding something.

7. Song: Anything by Michael Bublé

What it says about you: You’re trying to do something a little different, without alienating your grandparents.   Just like your parents tried to do when they played a Harry Connick Jr. track at their wedding. (One word of advice: if you’re picking a Bublé hit, see if someone else recorded a better version first.)

8. Song: “You Are the Best Thing” by Ray LaMontagne

What it says about you: You were too busy to devote a lot of thought to picking a wedding song, so you Googled “top first dances of 2014” and chose the only one that didn’t make you puke. Guess what? It’s an adorable and popular song. Good job.

9. Song: “Wonderwall” by Oasis

What it says about you: This song was playing when you first met, playing beer pong in your friend’s college dorm room. Later, it was your go-to song on karaoke night. Unfortunately though, nobody at the wedding reception is drunk enough to handle this song right now. Try again near the end of the night, when everyone is ready to belt along with it.

10. Song: “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” by Cinderella

What it says about you: You have been dreaming about this perfect fairy tale wedding since you were five years old. You’re honeymooning in Disneyworld and you WILL get to ride in a glass carriage, or else. You secretly wish your father was coming with you.


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