Quiz question: What’s the one object that can be used as a drinking glass, a terrarium, a chandelier, a picture frame, a candle-holder, a toiletry bag, a name-card, and an adorable way to make a single serving of s’mores cake? If you guessed “mason jar,” you must be planning a wedding.

Quick memo to anyone planning a wedding: YOU DON’T NEED A PHOTO BOOTH. Photo booths were fun when the whole idea of instant photography was a novelty. Remember when you were excited about Polaroids? Yeah, THAT’S when a photobooth would have been a cool wedding idea. But today, we all carry perfectly pocket-sized photo booths with us everywhere we go. Oh yeah, and they’re also phones, TVs, and portals to the internet too.

Cake pops are like those little Chihuahuas that ladies carry around in their purses—cute, but ultimately useless and irritating. I know that weddings should have a certain degree of cuteness, but there IS such a thing as too cute. And a tiny piece of cake on a stick, bedazzled with sprinkles or decorated like a tiny bride? THAT is too cute. 

You know what a cake pop looks like? A lollipop. And you know who eats lollipops? Children.

Some people just don’t dance, okay? Leave them alone. I know you feel like everybody takes dance lessons to prepare for that first dance. But here’s the thing: nobody is a good enough teacher to make your fiancé look like he’s comfortable dancing.  I don’t care if he’s pretending to really, really be on board for this. Trust me. He doesn’t want to learn a dance.