Some people just don’t dance, okay? Leave them alone. I know you feel like everybody takes dance lessons to prepare for that first dance. But here’s the thing: nobody is a good enough teacher to make your fiancé look like he’s comfortable dancing.  I don’t care if he’s pretending to really, really be on board for this. Trust me. He doesn’t want to learn a dance. 

And here’s the companion thing to that: nobody wants to watch you guys do a choreographed dance. You know that feeling of second-hand embarrassment you get when you’re watching someone embarrass themselves? That’s what everybody is feeling as they watch you try to waltz to Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.”

Speaking of Aerosmith, the song that was playing in the bar when you and your fiance met probably isn’t the greatest choice for ballroom dancing. So don’t force it. Just gently sway to the heartfelt rock ballad that defines your relationship, let everybody “ooo” and “aah,” and then let’s get back to the open bar. 

But most importantly, in your heart of hearts, I don't even think YOU want do to a choreographed dance. Remember your tap recital in kindergarten? You got so nervous, you forgot all the dance moves and peed in your leotard. This will be like that all over again, but you won’t have a whole row of 6 year olds to hide behind.

You know what’s cool? You’re an adult now. And that means you no longer have to be forced into activities that you don’t want to do. Nobody’s going to scold you for not “getting out of your comfort zone” at your own wedding. In fact, why not do away with the whole awkward “first dance” entirely? Instead, invite everybody to the dance floor to share your first dance together. Or do something personal to you, like a “first high-five,” or a “first glass of bourbon.” And if you both love dancing, then by all means, choreograph that first dance! But just know, it’s an option, NOT a requirement.