Having a quickie Vegas wedding? We've got you covered... for your vows, at least.

HIM:

With Elvis as my witness, I promise to love you tender:

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I was hanging with a bunch of old ladies over by the slot machines. They told me I hit the jackpot when I found you!

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Even though there’s more plastic in your body than in Wayne Newton’s face, I know you’re the one for me.  

 

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 Sinatra, Davis, and Martin could never sing a love song as beautiful as you.

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You’re as unique as the 24-hour buffet, but without the food poisoning.

 

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 You’re the treasure in Treasure Island.

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 My balls look like two-thirds of Blue Man Group, but tonight, that changes.

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HER:

I couldn’t believe it when you said we’d get married under the Eiffel tower, but you made it happen. It’s like we’ve traveled the world in one night.

 

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Even though I was here for the bachelorette party, Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan convinced me that you’re the one I’m really meant to be with. 

 

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 You make my heart flicker like the signs on the strip.

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 Near, far, wherever you are, I promise to be by your side. 

 

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I can’t wait to be Mrs. …What’s your name again?

 

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