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put a zing on it

9 Reasons You’ll Be Glad You Sprang for That Open Bar

Some brides get the idea that they can save some money if they skip on shilling out for an open bar. But to get through one of the most stressful (and magical) days of your life, you’re going to need some lubrication. So even if the open bar is for you alone, it’ll be worth it! 

We’ve compiled a list of wedding day situations that will seem like no big deal after you’ve had access to all of the libations an open bar has to offer.

1. Bridesmaid Drama

Your bridesmaids are your best friends… and they have to hold your dress whenever you pee!  But your mom made you include your weird second cousin Janet who doesn’t smile and cut the sleeves off of her dress. And your college roommate disappeared with the best man a half hour ago. But once you knock back some Mind Erasers you’ll forget all about those bridesmaids and their inconsiderate antics. 

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2. Handsy New Family Members

Did your partner’s uncle just “accidentally” graze your boob? And did that old lady really just lick her finger and rub it on your cheek to get the schmutz off of your face?  Don’t worry—champagne will get you through this ordeal. 


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3. Horrible Wedding Slideshows

You love your mom, but a tech wiz she isn’t. It’s been 20 minutes since she started setting up the projector for that slideshow of your awkward years. Where is your little brother and why isn’t he helping her? Someone get her an extra dry martini-and maybe two for you.


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4. Painfully Unfunny Speeches

Not everyone is blessed with the comedic gene, but your Maid of Honor doesn’t realize that. 

It’s a really good thing that you talked her out of pursuing a career writing for The Onion. Speech time is Cosmo time, AM I RIGHT, LADIES?


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5. People Who are Overly Curious About Your Fertility

You have no interest in talking about breast pumps, nannies, or your ovulation schedule. You’d just like to survive this nightmare. The only milk you want to hear about is the one going into your White Russian.


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6. Last Minute Plus Ones

You really hate making awkward small talk with strangers. If all of your single friends just showed up at the wedding solo, they’d have a better chance of scoring. Then you wouldn’t have to pretend to be interested in their BFF’s thoughts on the DJ in between sips of your mojito that’s pretty much just rum at this point.


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7. Painful Shoes

Massive amounts of tequila –that’s the only way you’re going to forget the pain of those 6 inch heels. 


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8. Clichéd Reception Songs

Macarena? Meet Margarita.

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9. Knowing That People are Betting on Your Divorce

Your sister always was the jealous type.  And your mother-in-law? She’s already talking to divorce lawyers. Just keep drinking your wine and play nice. And look forward to doing the “I Told You So” dance on your first anniversary.

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Forget about how much an evening’s open bar will cost. Don’t think about how you were hoping to have a down payment on a house at the end of year. Because the relief you get from killing brain cells while your family is driving you crazy—that’s priceless. 

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