The ‘80s were a decade of conservative politics and questionable fashion choices, and yet ‘80s-themed weddings are totally on trend in 2015.  (Note to brides: weddings don’t have to reflect the decade you were born in, OK? xoxo) 

We’ve found 13 ridiculous wedding dresses that will make you forget all about that cassette tape centerpiece you were dying to DIY.

1. Don’t be a tease

Image Source: thehairhalloffame.blogspot.com 

From the teased hair to the bedazzled SWEAT BANDS, this photo is proof that no matter how much you go for it now, you’ll never be as ‘80s-tastic as these ladies.  

2. Powder Puff Girl

 

Image Source: boards.weddingbee.com 

Have you ever seen a bridal hat before?  Of course you haven’t.  This woman looks like a dandelion that’s ready to explode if she sneezes. 

3. Cindy Crawford Couture

 

Image source: Tumblr

Even the biggest supermodel in the world couldn’t pull off this wedding cake of a dress.

4. Bowie’s Bride

 

Image Source: forum.alexanderpalace.org

Jennifer Connelly’s Labyrinth gossamer gown actually is the stuff that dreams are made of… but we’re afraid that a bride wearing this dress might accidently conjure up the Goblin King.  On second thought…maybe that’s not such a bad thing.  

5. Don’t Stop Believin’

 

Image Source: Buzzfeed

This dress has it all: the puffy princess shoulders, a super high neckline, insane veil, and that billowing TRAIN. How many people stepped on that foamy mess throughout the reception?  We’re guessing she’s still suffering from whiplash related injuries. 

6. You know what they say about a woman with big shoulders…

 

Image Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com 

This might capture a happy moment, but things took a scary turn just after this photo was taken. The bride’s sleeves inflated even more and she floated into the sky.  Luckily though, she was blown to a faraway island where she was hailed as a queen.  

7. Wedding Fantasy Barbie

 

Image Source: bridalguide.com

How is it that BARBIE has the most understated dress on this list? 

8. Royal Romance

 

Image Source: imageshack.com 

Princess Diana unwittingly started a major bridal trend with this dress: for years after the Royal Wedding, women were seen waddling down the aisle wrapped in their down comforters. 

9. Wedding Day Calves

Image Source: snakkle.com 

Chris Evert may have been a star tennis player, but she knew NOTHING about hemlines.

10.   Pastel Paradise

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

If you MUST stick with the 80s theme, take a note from the page of power couple Nick Rhodes and Julie Anne Friedman.  Rhodes, who played keyboard for Duran-Duran, has some bridal makeup and a pink, Victorian-inspired suit.  His bride is rocking one of those wedding hats.  You’ll probably be able to locate similar clothing, but good luck finding those chairs carved out of ice.

11. Desperate Housewife

 

Image Source: marcia-cross.com 

If you look closely, you can see that Marcia Cross is gritting her teeth because she was forced to wear this monstrosity on television. 

12. Understated ‘80s Elegance

 

Image Source: Tumblr 

The great thing about a dress that’s positively bursting with ruffles and bows is that you don’t need a bouquet!  A single rose is enough.

13. Dressed ‘Like a Virgin’

Image Source: Billboard 

The 80s were a time when MTV was new and Madonna was edgy and cool. But do you really want to depress your guests by reminding them of the time when Madge spoke with a British accent?